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The Queen Bee Speaks

Unsnooty Beauty

Looking good is not a matter of being beautiful, it is about being alive. Beauty is not something you can really contrive or control.

Hair and skin and body fats are all mutable entities. Some days it all hangs together and other days you're a Cubist painting without a frame, all weird angles and frayed edges. All you can do in the name of beauty is animate it with your spirit, the spirit that never changes and never ages.

Expect to look beautiful at some of the least-dignified moments of your life: sweating, birthing, battling the odds. Inner spark is the ultimate beautifier.

Still, having said that – if somewhere along the way you find some goo that stops your hair from frizzing, a lipstick that doubles the size of your mouth, or a blusher that makes you look après yoga, use that too!

THE FOUR AGES OF A WOMAN

From 10 to 90, a woman needs her sunscreen, fresh food, water, tender love, and pride of carriage. Beauty can be awkward at times of transition. The day you get your first period is as hard as the day you find your first gray hair or look in a shop window and suddenly see angular cheekbones and other adult face architecture creeping into a once-nubile visage.

The best makeup for women of all ages is fresh makeup: anything that looks like a complement rather than a sculptural imposition. A lot of women get through their 20's with a stump of black eyeliner and a red lipstick only to find 10 years later that these tools serve to make them look mean rather than pretty. I think makeup works like a bell curve, with very little to start, very little to finish, and bit of a glamour blast in between at the age where you don't look like Lolita or mutton dressed as Drew Barrymore.

Hitting 50 should shouldn't mean buying a coral lipstick and a sensible cardigan and throwing in the towel as a beauty queen, Mais non! Just look at Catherine Deneuve, still working the pout and the smoky eyes quite late in the day. Instead, it is about refinement and technique. A 21-old girl wearing too much eye shadow looks like a messy little orchid; 20 years later she looks just messy. Makeup should change with your skin, getting moister as you get drier and getting sleeker as your style evolves.

THE TEENS

Young dewy skin can get away with glitter, iridescent eye shadow, superbright lipstick, henna body tattoos, too much eyeliner, or the no-eye-makeup look. Pale pastel and tropical colors also look amazing on baby cheeks and lids.

Despite the fact that you don't want to look like a little girl anymore, the less makeup you wear now, the better. Youth is for the young and the naturally rosy.

If you have breakouts, don't plaster foundation and powder over the top of them. Keep the skin clean and the let it breathes. Don't be tempted to fry your face in the sun to clear it up, either. Whatever you do, don't squeeze.

Everyone says, "You're young, you're beautiful, don't worry." They're right.

THE TWENTIES

This is the age of trying to be taken seriously. Job hunt, love hunt, identity hunt. Don't hide your light under a bushel with drab colors and sensible chignons. There's time for sober looks later.

Enjoy the red lipstick. Later, fine leather lines will father around the mouth, and lips will tend to shrink with age. Go the air kiss!

Liquid eyeliner and other dramatic eye makeup styles look great on eyes with no crow's feet. Protect your face from the sun and keep the puffy look down with cool tea bags.

Party on but be frugal with cigarettes, caffeine, junk food, alcohol, and drugs. You feel as if you have limitless energy now, but later the body pays. Shine on, don't burn out.

THE THIRTIES

on't go into neutral at the first sight of a line or a creepy eyelid! Colors can lighten up and lipsticks can soften up but not too radically.

Look at your lipstick. What is it doing for your mouth? Rosy reds, fleshy pinks, and stains and sheers work better when lips start to get leaner. Use a lip pencil as a sealant to disguise fraying edges and avoid matte, powdery lipsticks.

Try using eye shadow instead of hard, blunt eyeliner to accent the upper and lower lids. The smudge factor requires skill, so apply delicately.

Do not scrimp on health care, skin care, or rest. Try to protect the delicate skin around your eyes.

The thirties are hard on hair. Your mane may start to get thinner, grayer or generally less lustrous. Stock up on essential fatty acids in linseed and fish oil and foods rich in vitamin E and B.

If motherhood taxes your hair, skin, and body, look into your diet. Do you need a supplement? Is sleep deprivation killing your looks? Perk up with a sensual bath scented with geranium, orange, or rose oil. Ask your partner to ease expectations in times of stress. Don't expect to look like a babe when you're in the thick of the most responsible time of your life.

Get frisky with a subtle brush of blusher. Better still, get your circulation going with a few headstands. Yoga is a great beautifier.

FORTIES AND BEYOND

Hair matters more at forty than before. For decades you may have gotten away with a scrunchie and some old hair clips, but now is the time to frame your face and define your style.

Look at the colors you're wearing, the shape of your eyebrows, your brand of foundation, and the needs of your lifestyle. Old habits die hard, but that chocolate lip liner looked better in 1983 than it does now.

Enhance everything you love about your face. If you have gray hair, make it dramatic with beautifully shaped brows and a black velvet ribbon. If you have deep cheekbones, highlight them. If you still love red lipstick, then just wear it.

We spend 25 years or so hanging on to girlhood, so now is probably the best time to let go of "cute" affectations. Enjoy womanly perfumes, powerful clothes, and dramatic style, or even complete "in the raw" naturalness. If you're not you now, when will you be?*

 

The job huntress

By Lady Ochel Espinosa
QUEEN BEE SPEAKS

Work is a big deal. We devote almost two-thirds of our lives to it. It's the source of despair, elation, frustration, and self-definition. And yet, we rarely question what we do – or stop to gain some perspective on the work that marks our daily existence.

Often, it takes a long vacation to make the workaholic realize she's pushing herself way too hard, or a life crisis (like serious illness) to give a woman the courage and perspective to switch careers. Who has a chance to sit down and map out her professional trajectory when life keeps serving up its nonstop demands? At most, we are just coping with the very different pressures of motherhood, student fees, a fluctuating job market, and even annulment cases. Work is something we are expected to juggle with everything else but, like our health or our spirit life, it is not something we can afford to ignore. You do not want to look up twenty years into a job and realize you're in the wrong place. Nor do you want to overwork to the point where you have no life. For these reasons, it's not self-indulgent to take stick of your work, it's vital.

The definition of great job differs wildly from woman to woman. Not everyone is a manic careerist. Some women simply work to pay the bills and find their intellectual and emotional spark elsewhere, some women trim their lifestyle down in order to work less, and some women strive for meaningful content in their work. Sometimes these three completely different work profiles can belong to the same woman in one working life. The importance of work shifts radically as our priorities change. When I was twenty, I was proud to wear a suit and carry a business card with my name on it that I was willing to work 12-hour days to earn the privilege. Eight years after, the corporate fantasy lacks the same gleam, and I am sitting around scheming up ways to chase fewer bills and the eternal "planning" stage of taking up Zumba classes or doing yoga.

WHAT WORKS FOR YOU?

So many women go through their lives doing jobs that mean little to them. They are working for money, parental or societal expectation, or status while their real vocation remains unrealized. If we spent a little time contemplating a job that could be meaningful, productive, or even more fun, the word 'career' would be a lot less intimidating and distant. The best job for you may not be the most high profile or even the highest paying. There are women, who have had very passionate careers serving food, knitting sweaters, or teaching piano – not the most prestigious jobs society thinks, but activities that really fulfill them as people.

It is vital to know when a job is working for you and when it's just a waste of time. If your work seems to tear at your insides, you are probably trying to fit your crazy creative round peg into a company's square hole. So forget about everything you have been taught about resume writing for a moment and make a list instead of your weaknesses, aversions, and foibles. You'll get a clearer idea of the types of jobs you should scrupulously avoid. Admittedly, there are aspects of your work skills you can fix: appearance, punctuality, and procrastination. Feel positive about those areas you can improve, and then be honest about the stuff that is truly alien to your nature.

Nocturnal types suffer horribly in nine-to-six jobs but blossom as freelancers working weird hours like film editors, writers, rock music technicians, performance poet, or entertainers). Girls with quick minds and quicker tempers might be better at the stock exchange than teaching day care. Know your faults and make them work for you. Once you are doing what you really love, you can soar high and succeed.*

 

Ten-minute makeover

| QUEEN BEE SPEAKS | By Lady Ochel Espinosa |

Here are some quick ways to look like a celebrity hostess who spent all day getting ready - and only you will know that you did it in a flash!

HERE WE GO AGAIN

Never forget the power of the classic chignon! Whether you place it high (for a slimming effect) or low (to achieve that sleek look), it looks neat and very elegant. Add an ornate chopstick a la Auntie Mame, a jewel-encrusted clip in the vein of Grace Kelly, or a whimsical winterberry to make it youthful and quirky.

SHAKE UP YOUR MAKEUP

Less is so much more. Many makeup lines offer all-in-one shimmery powders that can enhance cheeks, eyes and bare shoulders in seconds. Every day is always an opportunity to stand out, effortlessly. Choose a beautiful lip color you would not ordinarily wear (but spare the black please). Dot a touch of concealer under your eyes. Stroke on a coat of rich mascara and voila! you are done!

MAKE THEM ALL PANT

Velour sweats can look relaxed and sophisticated when paired with the right top. Look for drawstring versions (so that the waist is adjustable should there be times you will overindulge) that flare at the leg. Choose ink black, bright white, classic camel, cream or even soft pink to add a plush look to a basic white blouse. Pair them with satin flats inspired by the ballet slippers or very low kitten heels and smile through the whole day night.

GO OVER THE TOP

Go for glitter, glimmer and glitz! Buy that one shiny top with beaded or sequin embellishments – you know, the type your flashier friend wears with abandon. It is the perfect topper for nights like this. Do not spend too much on it, though. Just be sure it brings out your joyful and playful side! If you are not too sure, you can wear it in the safety of your own home, with your closest friends and feel more glamorous!

THE NO-REGRET DRESS

Look for a one-piece wonder that speaks of an unavoidable charm yet allows you to eat, drink, dance and not worry about the bulge. Let it drape the body in a sumptuous fabric that makes you feel like a lady! Aww! Try a wrap dress that ties the waist. If the price is right, invest in a few, ranging from classic black to berry reds. Add festive, colored accessories to make you look really pop!*

   

Just for fun

| QUEEN BEE SPEAKS | By Lady Ochel Espinosa |

Sometimes we have been so confided with daily routines and to certain point we hit the style ceiling and then in a snap, we become “boring”.  So here are some things you can do “just for fun”.

BUILD YOUR OUTFIT WITH AN ABSOLUTE FAVORITE ITEM

Pull a fast one on yourself and save minutes by making the first thing you pull out of your closet a tried-and-true favorite piece of clothing. You know the one. That suit, the one that makes you feel “instantly skinny”. The skirt covers you enough, yet has that hot back slit for amazing “exit strategy” from any meeting. Or it might just be your most comfortable shoes that make everything else feel a whole lot better. Whatever you decided to wear, if it is a favorite, you know that you’ll feel better and ultimately look more fashionable. Those around you will let you know it, and what better way for a compliment to take the sting off any busy day.

Think about it, by using this simple style strategy, the first four minutes of getting dressed can really be given back to you and your day by reaching straight for what you know will never let you down, and structuring the rest of the look from there.

ADD A WIG TO YOUR WARDROBE

Before you even turn the page and decide that this tip is not for you, hear me out! Today’s quality wigs are no longer worn out of necessity. They are sported for style and a shot of glamour. They are on high-fashion runways, movie screens, and Hollywood red carpets, and most of us would never know of it!

One thing about celebrity hairstyle trends that most women probably do not even realize when they exclaim how much they love it, is the volume of the star’s hair. You think you just love the color, or adore the cut, but it is the healthy, full, rich volume that creates such a statement on film and in photographs. And guess what, sometimes it’s a wig – and a very expensive one at that. These stars shall remain nameless.

The next time you are in search of a new hairstyle and would rather rest the waters slowly before going under the scissors or getting a dye job, check out a wig store, or invade your drag queen friend’s closet! Sport it when you are at home hosting a party in an outfit that could use a lift, or simply on a night out with your girlfriends for some fun at Smallville Complex! *wink* Try doing it in a super-cool, so-not-like-you style. Buy it on sale or just borrow the same, so that there will be no “guilt” issues. Choose a hot new color that you have always wanted to try, and wear it like it is your own natural hair. Wear it with confidence among friends first. In other words, throw it like you actually did grow it! *Toodles!*

   
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